| | I don't think I can handle this very much longer.
Seriously, Two weeks today I went insane with perfection. I dont' understand, I can't even remember the reason why.. But I can remember what I did so clearly, Got up pulled out all my dark clothes and shoved them in a bag, every single peice all shoved in a white garbage bag sitting by my dresser, I can't even touch the bag without a tear rolling down my cheek. So I leave it there, It ignores me and I ignore it there for I have no reason to throw it out. Then I ripped all the photo's and the pictures of Aura Fourty Seven off my wall and shoved them In my memory box.. That I won't touch either, And then I ran around my room and grabbed all my make up and devoted a whole drawer to makeup and hair... Then I pushed all my doubts away, got myself a boyfriend and started acting like I cared but really not.. Sometimes, there will be a moment where I'll get a bit upset but I push it away. Some nights I sit there and cry inside only to wake up the next day smiling batting my eyelashes and curling my hair. And some how I can't bring myself to find her, I can't find myself to be her. I can't find myself. But maybe it's for the best, maybe I'll just be Stephanie and forget Her, Betonia.. |
| | Posted 5/1/2005 3:41 PM - 1 View - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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